Sunday Morning Musings…

Kinda just lounging in bed, waiting for Barbara to wake up (she slept out in the living room last night) so I can get some breakfast.

Just got done talking to Lesa via IM. Her daughter just went to the bathroom by herself for the first time. What is it about going to the bathroom by ourselves that is so special? Is it the fact that the child is doing something on their own; their first independent action without parental supervision. Is it the final test after months and months of training. I mean, lets face it, potty training is like getting your diploma; in either case, your parents reward you with something, usually a car, toy or real.

Watched Star Trek: Nemesis last night. Half a mind to take the DVD back because the playback was
really choppy. Think that I will watch it on Barbara’s DVD player first before making final
judgment. The movie was O.K., but nothing special. Actually it was kind of a disappointment. Kinda confused about the whole dune buggy vehicle. I mean they are in the 24th century or whatever. And I realize that Star Fleet was just in a war with The Dominion, but that dune buggy was so cheap looking. They couldn’t sport a hovercraft model or something. That’s my 2 cents, although, I really did like the battle between the two ships. Still, this movie felt more like a Sci-Fi channel special movie than a theater release.

Continuing to work on the CD collection, copying it to the new hard drive. Almost 10GB copied so far. I still need to rename some of the songs. The naming service that Microsoft uses fucked up on Whitney Houston, 2Pac, and a couple of others. And then I have my Japanese stuff; do I enter them in with their Japanese characters, or do I find the English translations for them. **sigh** I lead such the exciting life.

Well, I’m not going to obsess too much over that. Have a small inkling to drive to SF. and goto a library and get more CD’s to listen too.
Also need to ask Barbara if I can look through her CD collection. Mostly country, which is what I’m looking for; she has the box Garth Brooks collection. Also thought that I saw some Tammy Wynette which would be great.

And then there is my room; it is so blah. I’ve kinda held back because I have been trying to decide if I want to get a canopy bed frame. Granted canopy frames are “girlish”, but you can tie people up in many more different positions than if I had a lower bed frame. But the walls are almost bare, and the only artwork I have, I can’t put up. I guess that I will have to look for some new artwork to buy.

O.K. I need to get out of bed, get fed and cleaned up, and go do stuff. Going to the beach is at the back of my mind. But I wanted to bring my camera, but I forgot to recharge the batteries after the 4th. Just might walk down to Safeway to get some milk and that’s all. Oh yeah, also need to call my dad and wish him a happy birthday later.

Lastly, something about Suzanne. You can just skip over this part…

When I was in Galt at the park waiting for the fireworks, I thought that I saw Suzanne. My mind knew that it couldn’t be her, however, my heart swore it was her and begged me to go over. It didn’t help that there was another girl that looked like her sister, Kimberlee. Still, I didn’t get up and make a fool of myself, but the urge was strong.

It’s all about the chains that hold me down I guess; faith and hope. Has with other things in our relationship, I didn’t exactly learn the lesson that Suzanne wanted me to learn it. And now, while my mind and my friends tell me that I should move on, my heart is held down by the faith that it has in our relationship and by the hope that someday she will be back. Until I am able to break those chains, I’ll be like Prometheus tied to a rock in the desert, where the vultures will come to gorge on my body everyday.

[Listening to: What Am I Gonna Do With You? – Barry White – All Time Greatest Hits (03:38)]

One thought on “Sunday Morning Musings…

  1. If you don’t mind me saying, I think it’s okay for you to still have faith, to an extent. It’s so easy for other people to tell someone to “let go” because they’re not in that situation. I think you can still have faith and hope but still be able to live your life, just as long as one doesn’t interfere with the other. No one but yourself can tell you when the right time is because only you can know. It’s better to let time take it’s course and for you to heal properly, then force yourself to move on when you’re not ready. Let yourself prepare for the future and what may or may not happen, instead of forcing a future that may only disappoint you when it comes.

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