Monthly Archives: June 2003

Am actually feeling a bit blah and down right now for no apparent reason. Actually, I think that I do know why.

**warning, tropical depression Suzanne is up ahead, you’ve been warned**

The anniversary of Suzanne’s break-up with me is coming up this month. While she has moved on, I am more or less in the same position. It was like when I was with her, time had stopped and I was enjoying a perfect
moment in time. Like that whole stopping time in that Star Trek movie (was it Insurrection?) Anyway, now it seems that the world is just going past me and I’m stuck standing still. So if I’m more moodier than usual around the end of the month, you’ll know why.

I’m sure that Dr. Phil, Adam and Dr. Drew, friends and family, would tell me that I need to start dating and move on. What the fuck, they have told me this; well I haven’t called Dr. Phil or Love Lines yet (O.K., I did call Love Lines, but didn’t get through.) I think jokingly one time, I predicted it would take me 20 years to get over Suzanne, using the fact that it took me 2-3 years to get over April and we only officially went out for 6 months (but the 5 year chase was epic)

The fact is, I have no idea on how to start dating. My mom and Barry have made a part time hobby of finding girls and suggesting ladies for me.
Luckily Mom is two states away and Barry hasn’t started giving out my email address or emailing them my naked pictures. (Or maybe he has, and that’s why I haven’t heard from them.)

It’s all about moving on and making a change, right. Well, I’ve moved to Pacifica. Taken her off the cell phone, deleted her off my address book, kicked her out of my IM list, blocked her journals and website on my computer, taken her pictures off of my computer. Maybe I should get rid of the car; it is in our names. Need to mail the CD with her emails, IM’s, and pictures, her drawings, and other
memorabilia up to the parents house so it can be placed next to April’s stuff. A shrine of lost loves that I can go and visit once a year, place my candles and offerings, and walk through the memories.

Today after work, I went to a hill and just kinda looked out over Pacifica. It was a beautiful day today, the sun was just shining over the waters has the paragliders and hangliders floated lazily over the
water and Fort Funston. Anyway, for some reason, I stated thinking about the
literary meaning of water; doesn’t it mean time and timeless? I vaguely hear Cobene the bastard telling me this in English 4. And I wonder if that is the reason that I moved to Pacifica, to try to find some kind of place that is timeless, or at least that is slowed down. Or is it a place that I can hide within the fog, hills, and valleys.

Anyway…going to sleep in a bit. I have dreams and fantasies to loose myself in for the next 6-8 hours; it’s the only thing I have now.

[Listening to: After All {Love Theme from Chances Are} – Cher; Peter Cetera – If I Could Turn Back Time: Greatest Hits [Geffen] (04:04)]

Actually, they are fireworks. I really need to pick up some up. Need to get at least some sparklers for Drake. Decided to go up to Tracy to see Dan and family for 4th. Should be good times, since I haven’t seen him and family in a long time. And it will be good to be around family, even if it isn’t my own. But I’ve known Dan and Jen’s families for years now. I guess the key thing is that I won’t be alone.

Fallout of the inventory is starting to come in. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to kick back like I thought I would. I have to help fix UPC corrections. Luckily, my list is only 12 pages long. Yay me. Anyway, I won’t be taking the 3rd off like I wanted too. And I’ll probably be staying late again. The fun just never stops.

Speaking of work, am worried about something else. This guy who worked there got laid off today. On inventory, he was spreading rumors that I was hitting on him and that I had fucked some one-eyed girl that worked there. Neither of them were true, in fact I can barely stand the guy. He’s such a smooth talker and charmer and I had yet to see him do any kind of work. Well, I told Amber about it and I also confronted it. Anyway, he was let go today. I did not threaten to get him fired, although the thought of giving him a threat did cross my mind. However, all I told him was to not mess with me and to stop spreading
rumors about me. Well, he had friends in the General Book dept. and in Loss Control and I’m worried that this will get political. And I’m worried that I’m going to be blamed for his
firing. Office politics are never fun; had to deal with it at Baskin Robbins. That was an ugly
episode that destroyed friendships there. Granted, I’m not buddy-buddy with either department, however I don’t want this to get ugly. Maybe I’m just over-analyzing it too much. Besides, I got enough work on my plate to handle. I guess I will just hold and see what happens. Actually, I should talk to Tim about it; he’s one of the oldest employees at the store and he might be able to find out what people are saying.

What else? Horoscope for today:

Family issues play an important role in your day today, dear Taurus. Speak from your heart and tell your closest of kin how much they really mean to you. In general, you might be feeling a bit reserved with your energy. Don’t feel like you have to make any great strides just now. It is more a time in which you can enjoy what you have worked for. Kick back and reap the rewards of all your hard work.

Which is just a reminder that I need to mail off my dad’s b-day card and call them.

If you read this, email me. I want to come out for 4th/July, but I lost your email address.

[Listening to: Karma Police – Radiohead – OK Computer (04:22)]

So I went out to go grocery shopping and ended up at Stonestown Galleria for some strange reason. Left with 2 DVD’s (Cowboy
Bebop: The Movie & Star Trek Nemesis). Almost bought some pants, but decided that the price wasn’t right. Went to the library and picked up some CD’s and another book, even though I still have 4 books checked out that I haven’t even opened yet. One of the CD’s was Sisqo; yep you guessed it: Thong Song. I guess enough is said about that.

Headed back to Pacifica to goto Safeway, when I got a yearning for ice cream. Ended up getting a White Chocolate shake with brownies mixed in from Stone Cold Creamery and going to watch Charlie’s Angels. Yes I watched Charlie Angels; and yes I watched it at the
Century Theaters that I said that I would never goto again. The movie was a great movie for what it is, over the top action, gratuitous slow-mo shots, and lots of skin shots. But the best part was Demi Moore, OMG she was just super hot in the movie. Between her and Eris/Michelle Phiffer in Sinbad, don’t know who to choose has my evil
villainess of the year. Of course, Terminator girl is coming up too.

Got to Safeway and got the shopping done. Overall, it has been a nice day.
Going to watch Cowboy Bebop and then try to beat the last boss in Bomberman. Damn he is tough.
[Listening to: Mechanical Animals – Marilyn Manson – Mechanical Animals (04:33)]

Finally going out now. Had to stay and wait for person to come to look at Kim’s room. (she’s moving out). Not sure if
British lady was afraid of having a black roommate, but when they go running out of the house, that can’t be a good thing.

Anyway, going to goto SF to goto library, then head back to Pacifica to goto Ross and resist buying clothes, then next door to Safeway to get some groceries. Maybe I’ll pick up some firecrackers too.
[Listening to: Apocalypse – Wyclef Jean – Presents the Carnival Featuring the Refugee Allstars (03:49)]

I don’t have the slightest idea. It was my cell phone’s fault; I left it on the dresser instead of the floor last night. So when the alarm went off it made a shitload of noise. I went over to AT&T Wireless to look at phone, an I was impressed. I loved the camera phones that they had. What I didn’t like was the prices though. I thought that they would be cheap enough for me to buy one (was drunk at the time). I guess I will bide my time.

So inventory is finally over. Did not go as smoothly as I wanted it too. There were lots of mistakes that the counters made and the auditor caught two right from the get go. Didn’t help that the boss had come over earlier making me nervous as hell. After everything was done, I had to throw up. Yuck. Then I headed over to the store to help them out. Afterwards, went out for some drinks and crashed back at home

Slowly copying my music back onto my computer. Last time it took almost 2 weeks of nonstop copying. This time I think that I’m just going to take my time.

It is getting hot in my room, but looks foggy outside. I kinda want to go into the city to see the Pride Parade. But then I kinda just want to lounge in my bed all day long. The parade starts in 30min, so I think that I am going to end up just lounging here,

**stomach rumbles** I also need to get food today.

[Listening to: One More Try – George Michael – Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best of George Michael Disc 1 (05:54)]

Going to goto sleep in a bit, tomorrow is inventory and the last big work
obstacle that I have to deal with for awhile. The bosses came over and were impressed, and they O.K.’ed me to take the guys out to Six Flags next month with pay. Am I a cool boss or what.

Went and saw Sinbad with Amy. The movie was alright. When I signed the contest I thought that I had signed up for it on a webpage that makes swords. However, when we got to the theather, there was tons of kids. I know, what did I expect. I don’t know. I just didn’t expect it to be so many little kids there. And they got these cool prize packs, however I was unable to snag one. Anyway, I really liked Michelle Phiffer’s character, def. an evil goddess to fall in love with. It’s a PG cartoon, which explained some of the violence in it. No blood, but it was very physical in some places. I’ve always loved the Sinbad movies, so I
generally liked this one.

Afterwards we went to Jamba Juice for some smoothies and went to Starbucks so that we could hear ourselves talk. The only bad part was that Amy didn’t get to SF until 30min before the movie started, so we didn’t have much time to talk, since both of us had to work the next day. However, we talked about taking a camping trip sometime before school starts with her friends. And by camping, we are talkin cabin and
comforts; none of that sleeping on the cold ground in a tent that suppose to hold five, but can barely hold me, with bears sniffing around at night. Ha!

Hard drive installation was successful. 120GB of storage for me to play with. Half inclined to pick up another one for the hell of it. 220 GB for $160 after rebates. I wont do it, but it’s a thought. Anyway, reinstalling programs and stuff, slowly recopying music onto the drive. Got the webcam working too. Next thing to do is to copy back my pictures and website onto the hard drive and work on that.

O.K. going to play some Bomberman (newest obsession) and then head to sleep. Inventory at 8am until we are done.

Granted it’s only 90 degrees here; I’m sure that it is even hotter inland. Thank god that I am 3 blocks away from the beach. 😀

Anyway, staying at work late so that I can cleanup stuff and catch up on paperwork before inventory.
Afterwards, going to stop by Circuit City to get a duplicate receipt for my hard drive rebate, goto Baskin Robbins for a shake, and then go home and to the beach. Then later tonight, I’ll operate on my computer.

Tomorrow should be a good, if not hot day. The paint guys next door are having their BBQ/vendor show tomorrow, so there will be some good eatings tomorrow. And then that night, off to dinner and a movie with Amy.

BUY ME STUFF OFF OF MY WISHLIST!!!!!!

**sigh** I just want people to buy me stuff, is that too much to ask,