Would you feel unfaithful if you had frequent sexual daydreams about someone other than your partner? If your partner were having such fantasies, would you want to know about it? Why?
I don’t think that there is anything wrong with a little sexual fantasy…that is fantasies other than your partner. I can admit that I have had fantasies of other women while going out with someone else. These fantasies have mainly been celebrities and have not occurred while in the midst of a lovemaking session (With the women I’ve been with, why would I think of someone else?)
However, if I was having frequent sex daydreams, and if it was about someone else that I knew that wasn’t a celebrity, then I would be worried and feel unfaithful. I would wonder why I was having these dreams; I mean, if you are constantly thinking about someone else instead of the person you are with, then something is wrong with you and/or the relationship.
It would be the same way in a reverse situation with my partner. If they are having fantasies about Vin Diesel, Jared Leto, or Dave Matthews; then it’s not going to bother me. Hopefully I am keeping them entertained in the bed and she is not having these fantasies while we are having sex. If she is, then I don’t think I want to know about it.
Now if she is fantasizing about someone we know, like a friend or a coworker, then I would be worried. This is of course, assuming that she told me that she was doing this. If I knew of it, I’m sure I would feel some pain and sense of betrayal.
A 40-something rediscovering life in California