Update journal: Take 2

let’s try this again, shall we.
Horoscope for today: Tell the whole truth. There’s room for your version. It could win you some friends.
I am slowly getting depressed again. Still fighting it though, so no need to go on suicide watch yet.
Thought about fading out yesterday; fading out as in getting away from journaling and the computer for awhile and ignoring phone calls and emails. Not the permanent kind of fading, just the retreating into my shell kind. Decided late last night not to do that.
Thought about posting pictures of me in my underwear that I had for lj_undies, but never posted. Still thinking about it.
Thinking about making some new communities for Blurty:blurty_undies (companion for LJ_undies) and PopCap (place where people can post their score and talk about PopCap games i.e. Bejeweled).
Think that I have masturbated to the point where I think that I have killed my libido forever.
Almost got into an accident by looking at a person skateboarding, a hot girl crossing the street, and someone with a wierd umbrella.
I have .80 cents to my name until Friday
I’ve had thoughts of trying to look for a place by myself because I don’t have enough money to move.
Thoughts of killing Carlos from NBI insurance if he fucked me up and did not give me enough insurance for my car (Got a letter from DMV saying that I need to show proof of insurance.)
STILL haven’t done my taxes (denial that I am only getting $22 back even though I had them take extra out of my check for taxes and the $1000 intrest that I paid on my student loans)
I have been recycling the same 3 pairs of pants for a week now; clean underwear though.
The show says that “Everybody Loves Raymond”, but I really hate him and the show.
I love the new Saturn ION commercials
I also love the new Jack in the Box comercials (I would love a screenshot of the one when he is explaining sex to his son with that blank look on his face or the one when he is trying to say Chipolette(sp?)
I have been rushing down the stairs at 5pm on Sunday just so that I can hear the theme to Smallville; Save Me by Remy Zero.
Think that I might be getting hooked on Angel
Still haven’t gotten hooked on any new reality shows.
I miss Suzanne. Big surprise there. After the Valentine Day Massacre and the official breakup, and then finding out that she is seeing people, I was able to push her to the back of my mind and heart. Or so I though, anyway. I thought that I was doing good just being by myself and getting use to that. Feeling confortable with myself and stuff. But one night there was a dream (isn’t it always a dream….) where I thought that she was sleeping next to me. And now there she is, in the foreground of my thoughts. Thank got that she lives in Antioch so I can’t do a drive-by. It’s like there is a heart shaped glass jar with the name Suzanne inscribed in it. There are cracks in the glass and there might be a hole in the bottom, which would explain why it’s empty. The thing is that I have no idea on how to fill the glass up again. Do I smash the glass, do I repair the glass but leve it empty, scratch the name off.

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