God, I have been trying to post this for the last day or two and am just now getting around to it.
Anyway, was talking to April and she mentioned a long shower that she had. I am the kind of long showers, I love them. It kinda weird since I can’t swim and am not a really big fan of water. Growing up, I don’t think that I took long ones; of course even if I did, I don’t think that my parents would let me. (And just to nip this in the bud, I didn’t masturbate in the shower like a lot of guys do. I could never concentrate with the water running. Probably too much info, but it had to be said…) Once I moved out of the house and into the dorms, that’s when the length of my showers grew.
I love my showers hot, even on a hot summer day. I love the steam billowing up from the bottom of the tub to the ceiling, just swirling around obscuring my sight. I love the water hitting my skin constantly over and over. I just stand there and let the water run over my body for minutes before I even think about cleaning myself. It is just something so healing about it.
One time I took a 2+ hour shower. I think that I was depressed, but I’m not sure. If I looked back in my old journal entries, I might be able to find an entry about it. I turned off the lights, put a towel underneath the door so there was no light coming into the bathroom and just let the hot water flow over me. I remember at one point that I just sat in the tub and let the water fall down onto me. I remember thinking that I could actually see the steam swirling about in the bathroom. It was very peaceful and relaxing…and mind clearing. I think I would have honestly faded away from myself if one of my roommates didn’t knock on the door. O. K. I think this was while I was depressed because this was one of the things that he reported when he reported me to the RA and tried to get me on a suicide watch. Oh man, I wanted to kill him for that….but anyway’s.
So yeah, since we don’t have to pay for water, my showers usually last 30-45 min to the chagrin of my roommate, Mike. I can take quick ones when the need arises, like if Mike needs to take one or if I am at somebody else’s house. Still, I love my long showers; they are some of the few times when my body and mind feel right. Getting out of one, I feel so clean and healthy, even if it’s only for a little while.
A 40-something rediscovering life in California