Slow day at work; also

Slow day at work; also boss is sick, so I am updating from work. I got some project that I need to do, however I am waiting to see if their are anymore deliveries commng in today. Mark called and needed the day off to finish some schoolwork, so I let him. Tim is still on vacation until tomorrow.
So, while I was up at Vacaville, I stayed up and talked to Gabi about me. She thinks that I should get out of here and go somewhere, anywhere, and spend some time discovering myself and to find out what makes me happy. It’s something that I don’t even know how to do; even if I did now, I don’t think that I could do it now. I blame everything on my financial situation, which is the truth. I can’t afford to do anything right now. I have $50 in my checking account, and nothing in my savings. I have been living paycheck to paycheck for the last couple of months and have been extremely lucky that nothing serrious has happened to me. In the future, all I can see are the bills that I have to pay; registration fee for the car, my website bill is comming up, security deposit for a new place with Mike, loans and bills, etc, etc. With all of that, how am I uppose to go out and find myself; find out what makes me happy?
**sigh** I think an addiction would make me happy right now. Alcohol, drugs, Everquest. I got an email from sony saying that they were going to give me a month free on my old EQ account. I could totally see myself zoning out an playing EQ all day and night long. However, and addiction is no solution to my problem (so I deleted the email, so I wouldn’t be tempted).
I think the best thing for me to do is to just keep myself busy so I don’t have to think about being happy. I need to find a second job to help me pay my bills quicker. I need to really start going back to the gym on a regular cycle, instead of every now and then. Need to work on project at home, like categorizing my photos, converting my website to be viewed on Geocities in case I have to give up my webhosting (Geocities **shudders**). Need to practice on paying my games, both Mechwarrior 4 and Diablo II. Need to get Moveable Type installed. Blah, blah, blah. In a roundabout way, I guess it’s avoiding the problem. I guess I do need to learn how to be alone by myself and to enjoy myself. (actually, I’ve been enjoying myself way too much lately, but I guess that’s a different topic) I should go and make an appearance on the camera and look like I’m working or something.
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