The boom-bust of a dotcommer’s identity
**sigh** Every day at work, I watch Tim goto the job sites and send out his applications and resumes and nothing comes up for him. And that just makes me hole up in my job even more. If it was anywhere else, my job would be a good job; but in the Bay Area, it is just getting by and just above the poverty line. It doesn’t help that I am stretched out financially either; thank god I got my credit cards paid off and stuff. I wonder sometimes what would have happened if I would have stuck with computers and programming. Where would I be now? How would I have handled the boom and the bust? Honestly, I think that I would be home in Seattle working at Baskin Robbins again. But the other side to that is that I’m trapped at the job I am at right now. I like the job, but I realize that I am pretty much at the highest point that I can get. More and more, I wish that I could hop off and get a new job somewhere else. Tim is serious about becoming an electrician and if I was financially better off, I probably be with him. But if I did that, I would have to take a pay cut which I just can’t afford to take right now. Really, it’s the car that did it; I really would be better off with the Metro right now. It was old and dying, but since I live right next to school and drive the company van to work, I could have saved lots of miles. **sigh** Well, hindsight is something, something, right?
What else? Need to start work on the website. I’ve bitched to DreamHost about the fact that they say they support FrontPage when they really don’t. They’ve said that they would give me a refund for my unused months and credit that I have with them. But I think that I am just going to make the best of it and stay with them. While the problems I have had with them have been frustrating, the customer service has been good, and I really can’t afford to move to a FrontPage host right now. Besides, I do realize how crappy FrontPage is; but it was SO EASY to make my site. I could be LAZY. I still haven’t found my Dreamweaver CD, so I can’t switch completely yet. I’ll still use FrontPage, but I’ll have to change stuff like the navigation and the photo album. The good news to this is that I can try again with the webcam and I can try to install Moveable Type, just in case I need to leave Blurty when all the RPG’s crash the servers.
I need to try and get some positively back. The weather and work and missing Suzanne is starting to bring me down. What I need to do is to get back into the gym. I’m still kinda sick, but I’m put it off for far too long. And the exercise should help with the mood.
Still wondering what is in the mysterious package. Either a game or a DVD, I think. **squeeze, squeeze**
O. K. codeine is fully kicking in. Need to fall asleep in my bed and not the computer chair.
A 40-something rediscovering life in California