Monthly Archives: July 2002

I am Joe running away from his ghosts…

Spent most of this beautiful Saturday at home working on the web site. Amazingly enough, I didn’t delete everything that I did; just most of it. At 4pm, I decided that I needed to get out the house. So I gathered some laundry and headed to Vacaville. Why Vacaville? Cause I had to stop by the bank to deposit all of the checks that I have (I really need to find a bank here in S.F.) Anyway, I took the LONG way; up Hwy 101 over the Golden Gate Bridge to Santa Rosa, then onto Hwy 37 to Sears Point, then 121 thru Napa and towards Lake Berryessa, cross the county line and then head into Vacaville via Pleasant Valley Road. So I get to the bank and there is this truck next to me. I glance over at the guy in the truck and I think that it was Chris Romo. I wasn’t sure cause he looked smaller (granted, the truck that he was in was huge). For some reason, I couldn’t face him and I fussed in my car until he left. I don’t know why I acted like that; Chris and I started at Baskin Robbins together and we were good friends. He was a good guy and a great partier; sorta like Mark in a way. So after that, I just got this chill down my back and just felt so uncomfortable being in the city. Maybe it was the heat playing with me (Not that it was hot in Vacaville, in was in the 80’s, compared to S.F. being in the 60’s) but I just had to get out Vacaville ASAP. So here I am back in the cold foggy arms of San Francisco.
So now that I have money in my account, tomorrow I can go grocery shopping, and do laundry. For tonight, I should clean my room, but I think that I will leave it a mess for one more night. Think that I am going to put some dance/techno music on the radio, curl up in my blankets, and read all night long.
Current mood: uncomfortable
Current music: Subsonic on the radio (LIVE 105)

I am Joe Friday night….

Well, nothing got done tonight. Spent most of the night working on web site just to once again trash everything that I have spent the last 3-4 hours working on.
Also got none of my errands done, which mean that I will have to do everything tomorrow. Will have to take a trip to Vacaville in the morning to deposit checks. Maybe I’ll bring my laundry and do it somewhere up there. Then I have to come back home and grocery shop. What I really want to do is to just go downtown and take pictures with my camera. But there is this voice in my head that tells me that I suck anyway, so why should I even bother. Of course, the cam whore inside of me has been begging for a web cam. I don’t know why I need one; it’s not like I do anything exciting anyways.
Well, I think that I am going to go lay down and do some reading and listen to some house music on the radio. I am trying to read Coreilli Mandolin, but I am just not getting into it.
Current mood:
Current music:

I am Joe’s lack of enthusiasm

Was working on my web site and I mess up one little thing. I thought that I could fix it, but I ended up deleting the whole thing. Poop. Tried starting over, but to no avail. Back to the drawing board this weekend, I guess.
Tomorrow is when I get everything done. I need to go grocery shopping, I need to clean the inside of my car, I need to clean my room, I need to drive up to Vacaville to cash my checks, and I need to do laundry. Of course I am not going to get all of it done in one night. But that’s what the weekend is for.
Mike leaves for San Diego on Sunday, so I will have the house for myself for the next two weeks. If it wasn’t so cold here, I would just hang out naked every night. I’ve only done it once actually, when I moved into the Village and I had the place all to myself for the first week or so.
The big thing is getting the motivation to go to the gym by myself. Hopefully, I will be able to do it by myself. We’ll see, I guess. The Poker game is also a biggie, just cause I am going to let the guys smoke if they want. Hopefully, the smoke smell won’t be too bad..
Brother still hasn’t contacted me. I need to get his present soon.
Part of me says that I should be doing more with myself and my life. But another voice is telling me to just enjoy the nothingness; just float and fade away.
I am def. floating in a sea of nothingness….
Current mood: cold
Current music: Lauryn Hill – Lost Ones

I am Joe’s continuous budget woes…

**sigh** $40 left to buy food. I don’t need too much. Lets see; bread, rice, milk, chicken, soup…vegetables. Wonder if I can squeeze that out of $40. O.K., so I still have all of the checks that I haven’t cashed yet, which would come out to $100. But I really wanted to put all of that into my savings…And duh, I have to do laundry too. That’ll be another $20. Poo
Current mood: blah
Current music: Spice Girls – Spice Up Your Life

I am Joe questioning his cell phone service…

Saw this article on CNET about ATT waiving the canceling fee because they are set to raise rates. ATT is not bad; their customer service is better than Sprint (WAY Better). But the thing with my phone is that I get crap reception inside my house. And then I got a flyer in the mail from Verison and they have 700 minutes for $40 (I have a 60 min/$40 with ATT.) But Suzanne has Verizon and she has a funky situation with her phone where she can’t use it out of her calling area. Something to think about
Current mood:
Current music:

She’s got eyes like Zapruder

She’s got eyes like Zapruder
And a mouth like heroin
She wants me to be perfect like Kennedy
This isn’t god, this isn’t god
God is just a statistic
God is just a statistic
Say “show me the dead stars
All of them sing.”
This is a riot
Religious and clean
God is a number you cannot count to
You are posthuman and hardwired
She’s pilgrim and pagan
Softworn and so-cial
In all of her dreams
She’s a saint like Jackie O
This isn’t god, this isn’t god
God is just a statistic
[chorus repeat]
[Coma white:]
“All that glitters is cold, all that glitters is cold.”
Current mood:
Current music: Marilyn Manson – Posthuman

I am Joe’s evening with his roommate…

Me, Mike, and his sister Lauren, headed out to Berkeley to have dinner @ Zachary’s Chicago Pizza. Talk about grubbing; that was some good stuff. We had a good time there, just talking and eating. While we were there, this gorgeous Brazilian chic walked by. She was just drop dead gorgeous. Mike was being sly about looking at her; I was just gawking and staring at her.
Anyway, after dinner, we headed back to the city to get some ice cream at Mitchell’s. OMG, that was some of the best ice cream that I have ever had. I have a Kahlua Cream Shake, and shared some of Mike’s Mocha Fudge. I wanted to get a 1/2 galleon to take home, but didn’t have the money. Also wanted to get a tub of avocado ice cream for Suzanne and her family since they like smashed bugs so much.
Maybe it was the Wyder’s Pear cider that I had mixed with the Kahlua in the ice cream, but I am tired and ready to goto sleep. Good thing I have a manager’s meeting tomorrow @ 10am so I can sleep in an extra hour (or make it to the meeting on time in my case.) Hopefully, the computer system will be back online and we can start to receive some of the stuff that we have been getting before it gets any more backed up.
Current mood: sleepy
Current music: Expose – I Specialize In Love (Remix)

(You can run, you can

(You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love)
(You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love)
Here’s how it goes
You and me, up and down, but maybe this time
We’ll get it right; worth the fight
Cause love is something you can’t
Shake
When it breaks
All it takes is some trying
Chorus:
If you feel like leavin’
I’m not gonna make you stay
But soon you’ll be findin’
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
So if you go, you should know
It’s hard to just forget the past, so fast
It was good, it was bad, but it was real
And that’s all you have,
In the end, all that matters
Chorus:
If you feel like leavin’
I’m not gonna make you stay
But soon you’ll be findin’
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
Here’s how it goes, all it takes, is some trying
If you feel like leaving, I’m not gonna make you stay
But soon you’ll be findin’
You can run you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
If you feel like leavin, i’m not gonna make you stay
But soon you’ll be findin
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
You can run (10x)
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
You can run, you can hide, but you can’t escape my love
Current mood:
Current music:

What kind of Tree are you?

Find your birthday
>
> Find your tree and then scroll down to see what it means. Send this
> message to all of your friends
> including the one who sent it to you with your tree in the subject line.
>
>
> Jan 01 to Jan 11………………………..Fir Tree
> Jan 12 to Jan 24………………………..Elm Tree
> Jan 25 to Feb 03……………………….Cypress Tree
> Feb 04 to Feb 08……………………….Poplar Tree
> Feb 09 to Feb 18……………………….Cedar Tree
> Feb 19 to Feb 28……………………….Pine Tree
> Mar 01 to Mar 10…………………….. Weeping Willow
> Mar 11 to Mar 20……………………….Lime Tree
> Mar 21…………………………………….. Oak Tree
> Mar 22 to Mar 31……………………….Hazelnut Tree
> Apr 01 to Apr 10………………………..Rowan Tree
> Apr 11 to Apr 20………………………..Maple Tree
> Apr 21 to Apr 30……………………… Walnut Tree
> May 01 to May 14………………………Poplar Tree
> May 15 to May 24………………………Chestnut Tree
> May 25 to Jun 03………………………..Ash Tree
> Jun 04 to Jun 13……………………….. Hornbeam Tree
> Jun 14 to Jun 23……………………….. Fig Tree
> Jun 24……………………………………… Birch Tree
> Jun 25 to Jul 04………………………….Apple Tree
> Jul 05 to Jul 14…………………………..Fir Tree
> Jul 15 to Jul 25…………………………..Elm Tree
> Jul 26 to Aug 04…………………………Cypress Tree
> Aug 05 to Aug 13……………………….Poplar Tree
> Aug 14 to Aug 23……………………….Cedar Tree
> Aug 24 to Sep 02………………………..Pine Tree
> Sep 03 to Sep 12………………………..Weeping Willow
> Sep 13 to Sep 22…………………………Lime Tree
> Sep 23………………………………………. Olive Tree
> Sep 24 to Oct 03………………………….Hazelnut Tree
> Oct 04 to Oct 13…………………………..Rowan Tree
> Oct 14 to Oct 23…………………………..Maple Tree
> Oct 24 to Nov 11………………………….Walnut Tree
> Nov 12 to Nov 21…………………………Chestnut Tree
> Nov 22 to Dec 01………………………….Ash Tree
> Dec 02 to Dec 11………………………….HornbeamTree
> Dec 12 to Dec 21…………………………..Fig Tree
> Dec 22…………………………………………Beech Tree
> Dec 23 to Dec 31…………………………..Apple Tree
>
> APPLE TREE (the Love) – of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and
> attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always
> in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very
> generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher
> with imagination.
>
> ASH TREE (the Ambition) – uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive,
> demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent,
> talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and
> trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over
> the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.
>
> BEECH TREE (the Creative) – has good taste, concerned about its looks,
> materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good
> leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime
> companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)
>
> BIRCH TREE (the inspiration) – vivacious, attractive, elegant,
> friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess,
> abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very
> passionate, full of imagination,
> little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.
>
> CEDAR TREE (the Confidence) – of rare beauty, knows how to adapt,
> likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down
> on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress
> others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the
> one true love, able
> to make quick decisions.
>
> CHESTNUT TREE (the Honesty) – of unusual beauty, does not want to
> impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a
> born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often
> due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not
> understood, loves only once,
> has difficulties in finding a partner.
>
> CYPRESS TREE (the Faithfulness) – strong, muscular, adaptable, takes
> what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and
> acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be
> satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.
>
> ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness) – pleasant shape, tasteful clothes,
> modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead
> but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions
> for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
>
> FIG TREE (the Sensibility) – very strong, a bit self-willed,
> independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life,
> its family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good
> sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and
> intelligence.
>
> FIR TREE (the Mysterious) – extraordinary taste, dignity,
> sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to
> egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very
> ambitious, talented, industrious, discontented lover, many friends,
> many foes, very reliable.
>
> HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary) – charming, undemanding, very
> understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for
> social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and
> tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.
>
> HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) – of cool beauty, cares for its looks
> and condition, good taste, is not egotistic, makes life as comfortable
> as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for
> kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual
> lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is
> never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.
>
> LIME TREE (the Doubt) – accepts what life dishes out in a composed
> way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and
> idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many
> talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing
> and complaining, very jealous but
> loyal.
>
> MAPLE TREE (Independence of Mind) – no ordinary person, full of
> imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud,
> self-confident, hungers
> for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good
> memory,
> learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.
>
> OAK TREE (the Brave) – robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting,
> independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the
> ground, person of action.
>
> OLIVE TREE (the Wisdom) – loves sun, warmth and kind feelings,
> reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant,
> cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive,
> empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of
> sophisticated people.
>
> PINE TREE (the Particular) – loves agreeable company, very robust,
> knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good
> companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion
> burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything disappoints until it
> finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
>
> POPLAR TREE (the Uncertainty) – looks very decorative, not very
> self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and
> pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity,
> artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy,
> reliable in any situation, takes partnership serious.
>
> ROWAN TREE (the Sensitivity) – full of charm, cheerful, gifted without
> egotism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even
> complications, is both dependent and independent, good! d taste,
> artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.
>
> WALNUT TREE (the Passion) – unrelenting, strange and full of
> contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon,
> unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility,
> difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired,
> ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
>
> WEEPING WILLOW (the Melancholy) – beautiful but full of melancholy,
> attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful,
> loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be
> influenced but isn’t easy to live with, demanding, good intuition,
> suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
>
Current mood:
Current music:

I am Joe’s Birthday Gift to his roommate, Mike…

Got Mike the new Dave Matthews CD, Busted Stuff for his birthday tomorrow. He is a very, very happy camper right now. Also comes with a DVD with 2 songs from a concert in Colorado and a version of Bartender in 5.1 audio. The CD is enhanced with stuff including a chance to sign up for a free webcast and other extra stuff. I’m sure Suzanne is also enjoying her CD too.
Tomorrow, I am going out with Mike and his sister to dinner for his birthday. Mike is talking about Thai food. **sigh** As usual, am worried about money; I have some, but not enough. I still need to go grocery shopping and I also need to do laundry. I do have various checks that need to be cashed, but I am planning on putting all of that money into my savings account. It’s not much, but it’s a start.
Mike is also going away for two weeks starting next week, house all to myself. Hopefully, I won’t go too crazy. Planning on having a poker game with the guys next Wednesday. That’ll give me two weeks to get rid of the smoke and pot smell from the game.
Called Fry’s about DDR for PC and they said July 31st. Am trying to see if Eric will get it for me since he owes me a present. If he could get me a pad, then I would be happy. I really can’t spend any money on things I really don’t need. But it’s hard to kick bad habits. **sigh** Oy Vey, what can I do?
Speaking of, I need to figure out what to get Eric for his birthday. Thinking about getting him a basketball jersey or something from JCPennys so I can put it on the card. Also need to figure out what to get Suzanne for her birthday; they are both coming up.
I really want to post meaningful stuff; deep, thought provoking, heart grabbing, current event kind of stuff. But I don’t know, I am….just wanting to keep stuff close to me right now, not quite ready to share. Just keep stuff bottled up inside of me and let it rot me away from the inside, that’s me.
Starting to use the Semagic client….the judges are still out on it.
Current mood: lonely
Current music: Windows Media Player