Daily Archives: May 2, 2001


Current mood: crying
Current music: The Phantom Of The Opera – All I Ask Of You (reprise)

**sniff, sniff** What’s Cookin’ Doc?

Smell like Matt is burning something in the kitchen. I am almost afraid to go out to see. I think that I will turn on the fan and wait for the fire alarm to go off.
A bit calmer than before. I decided to do my Aikido Final. It is a take home final and it is also fill in the blanks. Even a stupid fuck up like myself shouldn’t; be able to screw it up. At least I can say that I accomplished something.
The tears are gathering up in my eyes. Not sure if they are from my depression or The Phantom of the Opera that I’m listening to. I think it is cause of the smoke that is in my room.
I think that I’m going to clean my room. That will be a second accomplishment and might get the ball rolling for me. But then, I’m always cleaning my room, never winning, always in battle. Much like my life.
Poop, I forgot to go get a money order for my car insurance. Hmmm, I also forgot to get my lottery ticket. So much for wishing on that fallen star the other night. And I still need to move my car. I think that I will wait until midnight and then park it. If I can park it close on the street, I will. Otherwise, I think that I will pay the $2 to park in the garage.
What the hell is he burning?
Current mood: blah
Current music: The Phantom Of The Opera – Original London Cast

I’m sorry, can you repeat yourself; I don’t speak SKANK!!!!

PMS here I come….
What a most unproductive day? And it wasn’t like I wasn’t trying to be productive. I’ve been trying to get shit done, to no avail.
Got my new check card today. The good thing is that I can use the ATM and go shopping. The bad thing is that it still expires in a month. Are they going to issue me a new one, or are they kicking me out of the credit union. I’ll have to call tomorrow.
Also got my Financial Aide statement; **sigh** like I need to see how much money I’ve spent so far. I just better forget about a new car and hope the Metro can run for another 10 years.
And then fucking Justin….if you know that no one is in the house, then lock the fucking door. The same when you come in at 1-2am; fuck, it’s not like we are in the fucking country or something. How hard id it to lock the fucking door.
**sigh** I am def. on the rag. Damn, life would be so much easier if I would have succeeded an killed myself years ago. I wouldn’t feel so worthless and confused. I wouldn’t feel anything at all. Hah!
Hmmm, less than a month of school left. I wonder if I will slide into depression like I did a couple of semesters ago. I just sat at home and played EverCrack and other games all day long. That would make me feel so much better, if I could just run away from everything and play EverCrack for a week straight or something.
O. K. enough with the bitch session. I’m just going to plod along and if I get the shit done, then so be it. If not, oh well. If I get to stay in school, so be it; if I get kicked out, oh well.
Hmmm, maybe I’ve found my churchafter all
Current mood: apathetic
Current music:


I really should have started on this paper earlier. I am partly being a poop head for waiting so long to get serious on it. But I still feel that I don’t have enough info to do a 10 page paper. Too bad I can’t use the big paper that I did for my history writing class. unfortunately, it was for the Korean War and that is out of the time line. **sigh**
Well, I have decided to do it on Advertising during the 1920’s; exciting isn’t it. I was reading over articles trying to figure out which ones I was going to use. But the site has gone down for some reason. Lucky me.
I guess it’s a good thing that Suzanne is going away to San Diego for her friends wedding. That will give me a weekend to work on this paper….Actually it won’t, I forgot that this paper is due on the last day of class.
The lesson learned here is that I need to manage my time better. I should have dropped out of school a long time ago. Well, I am very short on time now. I took today off, but I can’t take too many days off from work cause I need to make enough money for rent next month. **sigh** I wonder if I would have been in better shape….**sigh** Regardless, I’m in the predicament now.
There are other things going on, but I probably shouldn’t talk about them here. Then what is the point of this thing.
O.K. I need to go back to school work. Maybe I should take a break from this and work on reading my Reformation book so I can start on that paper.
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Horoscope (by astrocenter.com)

Put aside the frivolity for a day and try to be a bit more serious. This is an important time to prepare for the future. Make sure you don’t take another step forward before you know you are on solid ground. This is an important time for you to establish your goals on a piece of paper. Writing them down will help you realize them in your life. Think about the long-term harvest. Security and grounding are key themes of the day. The trine between Moon and Saturn will help you stay disciplined.
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