I have forgotten how to

I have forgotten how to trust. I really don’t trust anybody. At work, I always try to do stuff by myself, even though it wold be easier if I had help with it. I just don’t trust anybody else to help me, so I go and usually end up dropping something anyway. And the only thing that I have been committed to is to myself. And even then, barely.
It’s all good to spout and to rant about what’s wrong with me. It’s fixing the problems that I need to be working on. But I don’t know where to even start at. It seems so big, can I even do it.
And yet, in my mind all I can think of is that I have to do it and I have to do it by myself; because no one will understand and I can’t trust anybody to help me.
Current mood: sad
Current music: Fiona Apple – Pale September