Daily Archives: January 24, 2001

Well, I don’t know about

Well, I don’t know about these choices. I guess that I could fit in some of the descriptions, but I could fix in some of the descriptions for all of them. I think I like my idea about how God is an ex-girlfriend that i screwed over in a previous life, and now she is getting even and that when I go to Hell, I want to aim for an office job processing souls somewhere in the 300-400 level. Hmmm.
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Liberal Quakers

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Unitarian Universalism

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Is it wrong for me to want her back…

I porbably don’t deserse her and I know I’m not ready yet to even try.
That still doesn’t stop the longing and the wanting.
Current mood: uncomfortable
Current music: Sound of the heater in my room

Hmmm…..Looking at the Creativity 101

Hmmm…..Looking at the Creativity 101 projects. Thinking about doing one. I might have an idea or two….I don’t know….I’m not that good or anything. I’ll have to think about it some….
Current mood: thoughtful
Current music: Tori Amos – Silent All These Years

Does it even matter, since

Does it even matter, since according to Christians, D&D is evil. But anyway here are the alignment that I think might fit me.
NEUTRAL GOOD: “These characters believe that a balance of forces is important, but that the concerns of law and chaos do not moderate the need for good. Since the universe is vast and contains many creatures striving for different goals, a determined pursuit of good will not upset the balance; it may even maintain it. If fostering good means supporting organized society, then that is what must be done. If good can only come about through the overthrow of existing social order, so be it. Social structure itself has no innate value to them. A baron who violates the orders of his king to destroy something he sees as evil is an example of a neutral good character.”
CHAOTIC GOOD: “Chaotic good characters are individuals who are marked by a streak of kindness and benevolence. They believe in all the virtues of goodness and right, but they have little use for laws and regulations. They have no use for people who “try to push folk around and tell them what to do.” Their actions are guided by their own moral compass which, although good, may not always be in perfect agreement with the rest of society. A brave frontiersman forever moving on as settlers follow in his wake is an example of a chaotic good character.”
CHAOTIC NEUTRAL: “Chaotic neutral characters believe that there is no order to anything, including their own actions. With this as a guiding principle, they tend to follow whatever whim strikes them at the moment. Good and evil are irrelevant when making a decision. Chaotic neutral characters are extremely difficult to deal with. Such characters have been known to cheerfully and for no apparent purpose gamble away everything on the roll of a single die. They are almost totally unreliable. In fact, the only reliable thing about them is that they cannot be relied upon! This alignment is perhaps the most difficult to play. Lunatics and madmen tend toward chaotic neutral behavior.”
NEUTRAL EVIL: “Neutral evil characters are primarily concerned with themselves and their own advancement. They have no particular objection to working with others or, for that matter, going it on their own. Their only interest is in getting ahead. If there is a quick and easy way to gain a profit, whether it be legal, questionable, or obviously illegal, they take advantage of it. Although neutral evil characters do not have the every man for himself attitude of chaotic characters, they have no qualms about betraying their friends and companions for personal gain. They typically base their allegiance on power and money, which makes them quite receptive to bribes. An unscrupulous mercenary, a common thief, and a double-crossing informer who betrays people to the authorities to protect and advance himself are typical examples of neutral evil characters.”
Current mood: nerdy
Current music: Tori Amos – Crucify

So I guess I should

So I guess I should deal with the evil question. I think that I can be evil; do evil things. Not as easily has I used to, but I know that I could if I wanted to or needed too. But I don’t think that I’m really evil; probably more scared that evil. That’s not really an tiger trait; being afraid. But I am, of a lot of things.
But then, I think about things that I have done, and I have done some evil things; to other people and to myself…..
why is my roommate using my sink to brush his teeth in. He has his own bathroom….
Anyway….so the answer to the question is no. I am not evil. Crazy – probably. A bastard -most definitely. But not evil. Not completely. Maybe I should look at this from a D&D perspective:
“Evil is the antithesis of good and appears in many ways, some overt and others quite subtle. Only a few people of evil nature actively seek to cause harm or destruction. Most simply do not recognize what they do is destructive or disruptive. People or things that obstruct the evil character’s plans are mere hindrances that must be overcome. If someone is harmed in the process…well, that’s too bad. Remember that evil, like good, is interpreted differently in different societies.”
Well, I don’t think that I am the antithesis of good. Maybe the anti-book report maybe, but that’s pushing it. O.K. maybe I’m evil just for making such a bad joke. I do recognize my disruptive and distructive acts, I choose not to do anything about them though, since most are of the self-destructive and self-disruptive kind.. Sometimes, say during rush at the bookstore and there is a temp S/R peon in my way, perhaps I might get a little….pushy, arrogant, all high and might and have to smite the little cockroach out of my way. But come on, it’s rush. If they survive rush, most find out that I’m just a big softie. Probably way too much info, but I to tend to make sure no toes are steped on when I’m barreling through. But does it matter, since I live in a christian dominated society, I am evil and going to hell anyway.
Current mood: melancholy
Current music: Fiona Apple – Fast As You Can

Was reading someone else’s journal

Was reading someone else’s journal and they were talking about how they were reading Stephen King’s The Dark Tower Series. I haven’t read those in a long time. It was the only Stephen King novels that I liked. I remember it was my old best friend, Jesse Holm that got me into that series. **sigh** God, now I dredging up old high school memories. It did hit me hard losing my friendship with Jesse. I kinda see some of him in Peter, my coworker. I guess Jesse and I were an odd combination for friends, but I really loved and respected him a lot. But, as usual, I never saw the betrayal and Jesse became another addition to the list of people who I considered close friends that stabbed me in the back.
Do I just ask for it or what
Current mood: calm
Current music: Garth Brooks – The Dance