Argh….I really need to fix

Argh….I really need to fix my computer set up. Actually, I just need to get a chair; right now I am using the little drawer that came with the desk. Of course the cheap bastards didn’t provide a chair with the desk. just like they didn’t put a shower curtain in the shower. Actually, what I need is a cordless keyboard so that I can type from my bed, but the only ergo keyboard that I have seen is the logitech one that comes with the mouse, but I don’t need another mouse, I have like 3-4 already for some reason.
Listening to House Nation on the radio. Someone asked me how could I listen to house music; that all it is the same repeating beats and there are no words to it. I think that it is that there is so much you can do with just those beats. It’s like you can go from drum and bass to techno to happy house to ambient. And then the fact that it is all linked together from song to song; there is no stopping for the next track, it just flows to the next track. I just get lost in the beats and can let the music just take control of my body. Like today, I was driving to the bookstore and they had a house mix going on. I had the radio up all the way in the van, and one of the speakers is right next to my leg. I swear that I was just losing myself to the music, and I could feel it through the speaker in my leg. I almost got in a crash a couple of times. All I wanted to do was to find a huge ass speaker and just lay on it feeling the vibrations and the beats off of it. I really feel like putting some clothes on and going out to see if I can find something still going on. But I don’t have any money. **sigh** Maybe next paycheck.
When I woke up from my nap, My computer and my phone was unplugged. I wouldn’t have done it; I wonder if Matthew came in and did it. If he did, I wonder why? It was kinda creepy.
Guess I’ll run my cam, even though I’m on a 28k connection right now and the lighting in my room seems to be worse than in Park Merced. But I’ve always had bad lighting. I’ll have to fix that later. I can’t wait until the network is up and I can leave the cam running longer. I don’t know why I want to do this, except that I want people to see what is going on in my boring life for some reason.
I also need to decide what to do for my photo shot tomorrow. I think that I will take some shots of myself and play with B/W and sepia settings. I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I am using the camera more and am slowly learning. Maybe I’ll walk down to Borders and read up on photography.
There is so much lock up inside of me, and yet I can’t seem to release it. Am I worried about other people reading it? If that was the case, I would be writing it down instead of typing it on here. I guess I could make it private, but I’ve always thought that private entries defeated the purpose of an online journal..
Why do I want to be alone? Why do I have to do things by myself? Why do I have to shut myself off by myself?
Current mood: awake
Current music: Listening to House Nation on Wild 94.9