Why do I let hate and rage build inside of me. I was doing O.K. until I started thinking about my history class. There is this guy in the class who used to work at the bookstore. He was a good person and I thought that we were friends, but he when behind my back and reported me. I didn’t do anything, and even if I did, nothing major would have happened (It’s all about the clout that you carry). ANyway, I was hurt that he was one of the people that told on me. So, we are in this class and he is talking to me like we are buddy buddy or something. It made me so mad, so I was walking to class thinking about where to sit so that I wouldn’t have to deal with him. And that basicly set the mood swing rolling. Of course, it turned quickly from hating Joran (the guy in my history class) to being frustrated at Suzanne regarding a conversation that we had last night. I have just been in a real bad mood today. At work it turns from hate to sadness and depression so of course what do I do but goto Taco Bell/KFC and gourge myself on chicken and taco’s (Why couldn’t I be one of those depress people that starve, I’m so fat) . So has I’m comning home,and I am almost in tears has I park the van. I try calling my family but no one’s home. I don’t want to call Suzanne at work cause….well, that’s another story. It’s not because of suzanne though. So I’m walking home and decide to goto the market and get some cheesecake (there’s a reason for that, I’ll go into it later.) to cheer me up. Has I’m checking out, my cell rings and it’s my mom. We talked for about 30min about everything. I didn’t really get into what was bothering me, but she didn’t really asked. We just talked, and it felt so good. It just reminds me how much i miss my family. So I’m home now with my peach soda and my cheescake. They are all good and stuff, but what I really want is to see suzanne and to have her hold me in her arms. I’m sure that would make me feel much better
A 40-something rediscovering life in California
What I’m reading.